Today I’m going to try and start this thing going again.
What have I done differently today than last week?
- I’ve joined 2 DietBets. One is for a month and the other is for 6 months. I’m hoping that money in the game will make me more serious about this.
What am I going to do differently:
- No more eating in the car.
- Attempt to start meditating again, need to be able to feel my feelings instead of trying to cover them with food.
- Physical activity every day (or 5/7 days of the week).
- I have to make myself a priority rather than feeling guilty about taking time for myself.
What went wrong:
- This is quite a bit longer, and I’ll spread it out over several posts. I think that the struggles started when I started to think of my food and exercise choices as optional. Since I’m still unable to “feel” my feelings, a trip to the butcher for meat ended up with a cookie in the car on the way to the next thing. Which evolved into 2 cookies, and then going to the butcher for cookies.
- There’s a lag between behavior changing and waistline growing, so I thought I could get away with it. Until 175 pounds turned to 180, then 185, and onward. Each week I would think that a good, clean week or two would get rid of the weight. Except that I could only put together a good, clean DAY or two. And the next week would start a pound or two heavier than the last week.
- Now I’m 208-ish and no longer a week or two away from 175. As my pants have gotten tighter, I’ve made excuses, changed my expectations. And all along there’s this feeling of doom. That I’ve failed and the inevitable result is me back at 275.
- So, line in the sand, yadda, yadda, yadda.
- Here I am again. Starting, but not from the start.
