My body is teasing me. My mind, too. I was down to 201.2 on Monday, and ate well, until I had 2 square pieces of pepperoni pizza after fire drill. Up to 202.0 for Tuesday morning. Back down to 201.6 this morning, but it's looking like the next 1.6 pounds is going to be HARD to get off! It's not gonna disappear quickly like the last 5-10 pounds have.
My mind is playing mean tricks on me, reminding me how nice it felt to eat lots of pizza, or a piece of pie, or .. anything. How cool it was to eat whatever I wanted and not worry about where the calories would end up. How carefree it was to NOT enter every bite of food into MFP. I'm inhaling the foods I prepared, not waiting until I'm hungry to eat but eating because I WANT to eat. I've stayed under control, but I'm closer to the line than I was before.
I haven't been planning my exercise as carefully, and with coordinating with Dude, I didn't work out on Saturday or Monday. We talked about jogging together, but the right shoes were never in the right place. Then I ended up doing construction work in my bathroom yesterday instead of working out. I could justify it as an exercise break, which does need to sometimes happen. But it can't be the norm. Tonight, I've got spring break from EMT class, so I'm going to go rock climbing with the girls at an indoor place. Only slightly terrified. Not of the heights, but of being too out of shape and fat compared to the other girls. My knees really suck and I'm 20 years older than they are. Excuses, I know. I'm thrilled to be invited.
I'm a big believer that nothing happens without a reason, so I've been trying to figure out why I feel like a bottomless pit these days. I believe it's because I've gone out to eat restaurant food several times in the last few weeks, something I've probably done less than 10 times in the last 3 Years! Restaurants have been out of my scope for a long time. It feels unfair to look at the freakin' menu and know that 95% of it is just bad, bad, bad. I've also cooked several meals for Dude, so it's not all, "Let's eat out."
Along with this whole new relationship thing and getting used to another person, I gotta get used to making Me time for working out and I gotta get used to making good choices on restaurant menus. Lots of extra work. It's SO not fair!
I was worried that maybe I'm self-sabotaging, since I'm so close to Onederland and my goal. Answer - I don't think so. But I'm aware of the possibility and will keep it in mind.
It's kinda trenches mode right now. Stop focusing on the prize 6 months from now. Put my head down and focus on putting one foot in front of the other. Good eating choices and good workout choices day after day will get me there eventually.
it's so tough when you're close to a tantalizing number! When that happens I have to stop weighing in every day(hour). So I don't drive myself crazy.
ReplyDeleteI hope that your climbing experience goes well. You'll be great... and even if you only get 2 feet off the ground... that's 2 feet more than you had before. and I bet you'd do even better the next time! :)
It's so great to do intimidating things! It demystifies them... and makes the situation more approachable for the rest of your life!
Hurray for getting out there and doing new things!
You are making a lot of changes and adjustments these days, so of course your body is going to ask you what's going on. The pizza gets me every time, so I have no wisdom there. But hopefully it's the sodium with that and the restaurant meals. You're still doing great, and you have come so far. I'm with Betty - maintenance until you get used to all of this.
ReplyDeleteLots of things going on with you at the same time so I can understand how hard it is to stay on top of your food choices and exercise. Little things in life throw us off and being in a relationship is a MAJOR change. These adjustments are to be expected. I don't do well eating out either. I get too tempted by what I see on the menu and it just overrides my good sense sometimes. I wish you the best and know you will work it all out soon.
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