Hello Obese

204.2 this morning - up 1.5+ from yesterday.

I went out with the girls last night and had TWO coconut martinis (OMFG they were good!), some fries and a philly steak and cheese sandwich.  It was a fancy-type sandwich and I mostly picked the insides out and left the bread, but the fries were heavenly.  I bet they used real lard, those things were so good.

I'm not gonna call yesterday "off track" because my life is going to have days like that.  It wasn't BAD. I wasn't BAD.  It was good and I enjoyed the heck out of it.  It is however, going to be rare to eat like that, and I'm back to my normal foods today.

I read an article from Health magazine in the dentist waiting room.  They interviewed Jillian Michaels.  One thing she said - "Lazy doesn't exist."  If you lose control and eat the wrong things too often, that's a sign that something else is going on like depression or low self esteem.  That rings true for me!  She also said that losing weight doesn't change your life all by itself, but you hold yourself more confidently and people react differently, so it seems like everything changes.  That's true for me too!

On an impulse this morning, I finally got up the guts to go to the Brigade Chief and ask again to be in the brigade.  (A month or two ago, I wrote about being scared to do this, since I was turned down last year.)  Amazing what losing 75 pounds can do!  Today the answer was YES!!

Two people so far today have stopped me and said, Wow you look great!  You're so thin!

I'm sitting here drinking Indonesian Chai tea that Dude gave me.  When he gave it to me, he said that I could drink it and think of him - and that's exactly what happened!  Also thinking of him, because even though we have plans to get together tonight, he texted that he's going to land around 12:30, did I want to have lunch with him?  (I can't b/c of a meeting)  Still - is this cool, or what?

So, I don't really mind that I'm Obese again.  Maybe I'll wobble back and forth over the line a few more times before I finally leave it behind for only Overweight and eventually Normal.  The big payoff, me being more confident, is already happening.  And that's changing everything.