Sunday

187.2 this morning, so I'm doing OK on the weight front.  Still going down, slowly.  I've been trying to get some exercise in most days of the week, but being less formal about tracking it.  Ran twice last week, played 9 holes of golf and did a little weights, so 4 workouts last week.  My plantar fasciitis has come back, in my right heel this time, so I think I'm going to have to take it easy on the running for a little while.

This is my first weekend without Dude and it's a sad one.  The last week and a half, I think I was trying to make things be different than they are.  Now I'm finally mourning the loss.  I had gone right back on OKCupid and was emailing with a few guys.  I met one of them yesterday and as I was driving to meet him I realized that I Am Just Not Ready. I didn't mention it to him, but it felt like a very long hour.  I just sent him the downer email and feel like crap about that.  I think I'm going to hide my profile again and and focus on finding the happy person that hugs my dog and says, "Hello World" every morning.  Not this sad person that says, "Ugh, another day."

I spent some time yesterday trying to think of something to look forward to. I had thought this was going to be a kick-ass summer before the rug got pulled out.  Thankfully, I did come up with something.  I had so much fun with the people I camped with over Memorial Day weekend that I'm connecting more with them.  They do stuff every week and I feel comfortable and happy with them.

This is also going to be the summer that I reconnect (again) with what *I* like to do and what *I* enjoy.  It's hard to believe that I can be 46 and not remember what it is exactly, that I like to do, what makes the time fly, but it's true.  I had been starting that over the winter, but then dumped it all when I had someone nice to spend time with. 

It's cliche to say "do the things you like and be happy and the right people will enter your life," but I know it's true. It's sunny right now and time to try and get the Mantis started for a little roto tilling.  Then I'm going to try and get the weed wacker started and do some of that.  If successful, that will be my exercise for today. Fingers crossed...