I'm Glad You're Here

Moving to South Carolina in 2000 was the umpteenth time I've started over in my life (and I've started over umpteen times since then).  I had to find my way around the new area and my new job, meet new people ... and make new friends.  All this was on top of learning a new way of talking and being ... the Southern Way.  I was SO underwater, it wasn't funny.

I was pretty lucky there.  The daughter of a coworker was single and liked to hang out, and she sort of "adopted" me.  I remember one particular time as she picked me up to go see a band play at a local bar.  I got in the car and she said, "I'm glad you're here."  It was such a simple phrase, but wow, it made me feel great.  That was 10 years ago and I still remember feeling warm and fuzzy inside, feeling part of something.  At least a beginning friendship.

I thought about it again last night because I'd just finished texting something to the Chief of the Fire Department,  "I'm glad I worked for you."

We had elections last night and he was voted out.  It was emotional and it was a surprise to those of us who'd worked very hard this year.  The young faction was voted out and the old faction was voted back in.  This means I probably won't see the chief very much or the other people I've grown attached to over the last few months.  I'm upset about it, and worried too.  But I have to see it for what it is.  Attachment.

non-Attachment is one of the things we learn about in meditation class, along with acceptance and nonjudging, nonstriving and letting go, patience, trust and a beginner's mind.

Yes, I liked the outgoing chief and other folks who lost.  But it's OK.  Things will turn out exactly the way they should, and all attachment does is give me pain.  Yes, I'm sad.  But that's OK too.  I can feel what I feel and then accept those feelings and let them float away.

I hope when I texted him last night that I gave him a little bit of the warmth that the phrase gave me ten years ago.
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So - um - I wrote that I was going to have a salad yesterday for dinner.  But the elections went until 10pm and they brought in pizza and wings and I had a piece of pizza and 4 wings.  Not salad.  The scale showed a loss of 1 pound this morning.

Then today I was on my way out the door to the gym and someone said, "Let's get Thai food,"  and I said, "Sure."  Tonight is girls night at the bar, so I'm going to have at least 2 beers.  Maybe more. 

I'll try to hit the gym on my way out from work, but one saying I like fits here: "Do or not do.  There is no try." 

I'll DO it.