So. Tired.
213.2 this morning. It was 212.8 yesterday, but yesterday was tremendously long and full. Right before I went to bed, I was exhausted and head-hungry, so I picked up a 120-calorie piece of chocolate. I thought about it, "hey, you're not even hungry. You're tired. That's not the same as hunger." And then I ate it anyway.
Total was 1364 calories, less 250 exercise cals for net 1114 cals yesterday.
Really tired again today. Stopped by the cafeteria for a diet coke and what should I come across, but the brownies. Yup. Bought one and ate it. Total calories are still fine, but I don't like these little slips. I want to live with intention, not have all these little, "oops, look what just fell into my hand" incidents.
Because I'm not feeding myself so many extra calories, I'm noticing that my energy level is more tied to how much I eat. (Duh, I know. I've always had so many extra calories floating around that I don't think I've ever really crashed before.) Next time I feel so exhausted, I want to see what my blood sugar is to see if there's a relationship. If I get used to what true low energy feels like and am prepared with healthy snacks, I'll be able to take care of myself better. [Aside: we had an EMS call yesterday for a diabetic who had low blood sugar. Wow! The guy was incoherent and combative, rolling around on the floor and kicking. His blood sugar was 36. After some orange juice and M&Ms and waiting, it came back up and the guy was fine.]
I'm overwhelmed with this EMT class. It doesn't really work for me to get home from class at 10pm three days a week and then have to get up at 5:30 for work. Worked out Sunday (elliptical), Monday (C25K week 3) and Tuesday (circuit), so I'm doing OK there. Taking today off from working out. Have healthy food prepared and available, so I'm OK there. The cat has decided that he's going to get better, so he isn't as needy and I'm OK there.
It's worrying about money and my car and not having any down time that's getting to me. I just got off the phone with the bank about refinancing the house and I'll know tomorrow if I can do it or not. EMT class tonight, meditation class tomorrow night, EMT class Friday, drill Saturday and then I can FINALLY relax on Sunday. And then start all over on Monday. Ugh. I need to calm down and try to slow down a little. Breathe in. Breathe out.
I know the little slips you mean. My emotional state is unpredictable and I can't seem to maintain my good intentions. I just get up and keep trying and maybe I will eventually get it back together.
ReplyDeletePrepare with a healthy snack! So much about living intentionally is being prepared, isn't it!
ReplyDeleteHope you get your energy back!
The choco and brownies may be in the caloric count, but they don't give you nutrition. You are under stress. What you need right now is NUTRITION to help your body overcome the stress of all that you have to ponder and work though and do. So, use the 300+ brownie calories for 200+ stuff full of vitamins, especially B and C and protein so your body can keep you well and strong as you overcome your hurdles.
ReplyDeleteAnything sugary will cause sugar rises and crashes. And that makes us hungry. Also ages us. Yup. I'm turning 52 this month and the age is showing more each year and I don't like it, no sir. We older ladies need nutrients to fend off hasty aging. Think about that next time the brownie calls: It causes wrinkles. :D