Fire Up for Fall Update

A day late, but oh well. 

Some of my favorite weight loss bloggers have been struggling recently.  It's been really helpful for me to read about it, because it helps me think about and plan for the times when I'm going to struggle.  Because I AM going to struggle.  This first 25 pounds has been kinda like a walk in the park.  I had NO idea that it would only take me 9 weeks.  It's got me hyped up to take 3 x 9 more weeks to lose the next 75 pounds, yeah, uh huh, right.  I know that's not going to happen.  There will be some speedbumps, and maybe I'll never get to 169, which I last saw 20 years ago.

My favorite weight loss bloggers are smart people.  They know what to do to avoid a binge.  But somehow they slip and lots of times it's a long slip, like weeks or months, while they struggle with how best to take care of themselves.  I read their blogs and wonder - What will I do when it happens to me?  If I succeed the way I'm hoping to, what was it that made me different?  What's the magic juice?  The secret sauce?

The answer I think, will be in my head.  That is, learning why I felt like I needed to be fat and stay fat, and how to take care of myself emotionally without food.  The meditation class has been a big help and I'm sad that it will end in a few weeks. Thursday will be my first meeting with a therapist, hopefully who can help me move myself into a thin person (or at least an average person!!).  Saturday is a day-long meditation retreat.

The fire department crap is resolved, I think.  Over the last week, I've had conversations with virtually ALL of the management and several others, including the jerk.  They've shown a really deep level of support for me that I didn't know existed and made me more confident of my fit there.  The jerk is magically not there very often these days!  I feel strong enough now, to say, "I win, asshole!" 

Now for the update - positive picture below.  Love Pinterest!  It captures my current thinking of this as the way I'm going to live for the next 9 months, and for the rest of my life.  I'm not always going to be perfect, but that doesn't mean that it's wrong or bad.

1. What have you done this week to work towards your goals? 

It feels like working toward my goals has become part of the landscape of my life.  It's not noteworthy any more to say that I ate well or that I worked out most days.  Practicing meditation has made me calmer and the resolution of recent crap at the firehouse has made me more confident that I'm a worthy person.  It feels like things are falling together the right way.  One of the meditation sayings:  Things are exactly the way they should be.

2. What have you done to make yourself feel fabulous? 

I tried on old clothes from my closet and found more that fit.  I realized that I've got something social going on every day this week, hopefully moving me towards my goal of having real friends.

3. How important is a social life to you? Are you a loner or a butterfly or somewhere in between? 

I'm so comfortable with my own company that I can spend most weekends at home alone without noticing that I haven't interacted with anyone.  I've moved around so much in the last 10 years that I don't have any close friends.  It's one of my goals to change that, but I have to sometimes force myself to get out and be with people.

4. How do you balance life outside your home with healthy living? 

I wish I knew how to do this well!  I'll look at the other challengers for hints.

5. What do you like to do for fun? 

I'm terrible at fun. 

I let myself relax AFTER I finish everything on my to-do list, and I never finish everything.  So I never relax.  I need to figure out how to have fun.  Last week I read a book.  Often I read blogs.  I do have knitting or sewing or various creative projects, but most of them are mothballed these days, because there's so much I feel that I must get done.