In the last few years I've gotten away from Thanksgiving, or at least away from the thankful spirit of the holiday. I stopped spending it with family years and years ago, and in the last 5 or so years spent many of them alone, except for the occasional time when I was invited to dinner with friends. I've been a bit of a grinch, not comfortable enough in my life or in my skin to really enjoy the holiday.
This year I spent the afternoon with friends. But this year has been different for other reasons. I'm practicing mindfullness meditation and am calmer now than I've been in maybe 15 years. I'm losing weight and I feel healthier and look better. I'm regaining the confidence I lost a long time ago. I'm really thankful for that.
But here's the real reason. I've gone on a lot of calls for the fire department this week, and two of them have been echo level cardiac arrests. In both cases the person died. Tuesday's was a 50-year old man who lived alone. Last night's was a 77-year old man who lived with his wife. There is no better way to be reminded that life can end suddenly than to see it ended like that, so fast.
I get lost in my petty, things-aren't-perfect-woe-is-me mindset and lose sight of the real stuff. I'm alive. I'm healthy. I have a job and a place to live and friends and the capability to do anything I want in this world. I'm so glad for the opportunity to see that and the chance to make upcoming years more full of joy than the last few have been.
Happy belated Thanksgiving all!
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