I ate 1520 calories and exercised a little but didn't put the exercise into the counter. Here's the story about the exercise, because it's relevant to how I'm gonna fit in 30 minutes a day. First, on Tuesday I went to the work gym at lunch and did C25K W1 D2 and some free weights. My plan for yesterday was to do a non-impact video after I got home. Sooo, when a coworker stopped by at lunchtime asking if I wanted to go to the gym, I turned her down, saying I wanted to do every other day.
When I got home after work, fed the dog and changed into workout clothes, we got a basement pumpout call. It comes over the dispatch radio as a "water problem". It's hard to describe how important this volunteer fire department is to my hopes and plans for my future, so I dropped everything and worked with the guys to pump out a basement. While we were there we got an EMS call and I went on that one too, even though I'm not an EMT. I carried some heavy stuff and squeegeed water out of this guy's house, but can't say that I worked out for 30 minutes, or even 15 minutes. I got home at 8, tremendously happy for spending a few hours with people I hope will be my family of choice. I put in a pilates video, but cooked dinner while it was playing. Did a few pilates moves, but not much. Then started winding down and found out I made it into the Christmas Dress Challenge, YAY!
So, um, next time someone invites me to the gym to work out at lunch - say Yes! Life got in the way of exercise yesterday, and that can't continue to happen if I want to be successful. I did do the video this morning, but couldn't do a few of the exercises, like the planks while raising a leg. And I'm gonna do C25K W1 D3 at lunch (sweaty me this afternoon!).
Here's the food I brought into work today. Big container of mixed greens with sprouts and feta cheese crumbles. At lunch I'll add sunflower seeds from a desk drawer, dressing, and cut up that tomato. Sometimes I add spicy nuts that I made and keep in a desk drawer (yeah, I'm that person that keeps a desk full of food!). Baggie of 4 oz turkey breast meat. 6 oz home-made yogurt. Container of 3 scrambled eggs. Finally - a huuge container of chai latte. I'm trying to copy Starbucks. This is 2 bags of extra spicy chai steeped in my coffeemaker (I don't drink coffee) in 6 cups of water with splenda and light cream. Since coffeemaker cups are 6 ounces, this is 36 ounces of watery, spicy goodness.
I've been slow at work lately, which is the pits. What I've been doing: reading blogs. I found a new one that resonates with me. It's http://www.asmallloss.com/. She wrote some posts about a month ago that I'm just stuck on, reading over and over. They're about maintenance. Why this stops me is that she and her commenters mention that once the weight is gone, there are no more excuses for their other life problems like being alone or being insecure. Those issues are still there after the weight is no longer there as cover. A few commenters wrote that getting close to goal weight, they were so afraid that they regained their weight and more.
I firmly believe that we get what we really want. I've always been perfectly capable of losing weight, but haven't (actually I HAVE, several times! LOL), because I haven't stuck to it, or haven't started. I think that deep down inside, I've wanted to be heavy, but haven't faced why. This is what I'm going to find a book on and research for this challenge.
First, when I'm thin I get lots of attention from men that I don't know how to deal with. But further, I think weight makes it easier for me to be distant from people. (I'm a child of divorce and haven't lived anywhere longer than a few years. I've started over so many times it's not funny. Different jobs, states, countries, all of that. Remember the Cher character in Mermaid? That's me, except I'm fat. ) I think my fat makes it easier for me to be uncomfortable in my own skin, the outside matches the inside. If I'm not fat any more, I'll lose the fat excuse and have to face that I'm not comfortable relaxing in a close relationship with close friends or with a (gak) real boyfriend. A close relationship is something I dearly want - but since I believe we get what we really want, I think that deep down inside I'm scared to be in a real, true, nurturing relationship. So the fat keeps me safe.
Yeah, I know. Big thoughts, and kinda journal-y. It's a good thing and I'm glad I wrote that though, cause I know that at the same time I lose weight, I need to develop nurturing relationships with real people here, where I am. Totally possible when I stop avoiding it. More on that in a later post.
Great post, lot to think about.
ReplyDeleteMe too, this is not a diet, it's a life style change and journey. It's not easy, the road has many hills and valleys but it's doable. A learning experience to say the least.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with Mir's challenge. You'll do great.
Take care and have a blessed afternoon.
And yes, go exercise when you can, even twice a day so that when those days happen you don't feel like you have to make it up later.